I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
