If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
