I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
