aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
