He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
