Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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