I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
we should paint friendship bongs
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
