The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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