Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize