I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
