He is such a slut. More and more my type.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Your cock deserves a montage
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
