apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
