don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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