Small penises have feelings too.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
