awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
it was like eating out sand paper
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
And then my night got REAL pukey
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
