yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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