i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
