"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
