woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
