someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you would pick up someone in the library
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
