Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
