Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
