Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
