You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
