He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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