Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize