Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
This is my gift to your gina
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
