I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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