I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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