Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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