i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
