u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
