If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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