When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
