Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Can Purell be used as lube?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
whose ass print is on the piano?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
