i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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