I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
