Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
