so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize