This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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