I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
