i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
