Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
