four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
