the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
