Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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