they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
