This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
