Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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