she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
home. puking in laundry basket.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
