I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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