Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I looked at my own cervix.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize