I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
