it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
