38 yer olds are good kisserssss
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
